by barlow girl

Things are so hard right now. With my parents divorcing, me having to act like nothings wrong, and how my dad hates me. I dont smile much anymore. And, I think I might have gained weight from stress. I havent weighed myself in weeks. After my basketball tournament this weekend I will weight myself. And hopefully, me trying to get better(which didnt work) and stress hasnt totally wrecked everything.
My friends are worried about me. They think that I am returning to "old habits". They just dont get it. Right now, I am entirely on my own. Everything is so hard. And I truely have lost my appetite. I have to eat cause I am sick, but food doesnt really have a taste anymore. I dont crave it. Thank god something good came out of depression.

Start Time: December 26, 2007 9:00pm

That is when I started my fast. I  am going until the 31st. 
Its has been 12 hours and 19 minutes for far out of 123 hours. 
I can do this. 
I know I can 
I just need some inspiration and some motivation.

Right now, morhceeba's song women lose weight is really helping.

 Visit my site and let me know what you think
I am not done yet but check in regularly for updates

http://www.freewebs.com/red-bracelets

Okay So I havent posted lately, or anything for that matter, cause I havent been on. I am just really confused right now and I got in trouble with my parents so I wasnt allowed on.  I am not going to talk about all my ups and downs these past three weeks I havent posted. I am going to think about the now. Starting the following monday, I have an entire plan worked out. I am strictly going to follow it. I tend to stick to something more if it is in writing. I may even put something on the line, sort of like insurance. So that if i break a rule, then maybe I lose something important to me, or a pesonal belonging. I dont even know. But I will try it and hopefully it does some good.

xxxx

I am not liking myself right now. I have to try and stay positive though. Thats the only way I will succeed

 Ughh. Just ate like 10 cookies! Thats 350 calories! OMGOSH i am so disapointed. I was doing so well and  I let myself down. I am sick of this. Well, I am going to have 600 tomorrow (2468) and I just know I can do it. I can control what goes in my mouth! I can't keep letting the food run my life! It is going to end here. I can do this!!
Sorrry for negativity!!
xoxo

nicole

 I know I keep bringing this up but I can't help it. My best friend is sooo skinny and it bothers me because all the guys like her. And the reason this hurts so much is because they all used to be my best friends and a couple of them are ex's and then I moved away and came back and now they like all moved on to my BEST FRIEND! I know if I get skinnier and prettier they will realize how dumb they are. I miss my old body. But anyways enough ranting here is my plan for the next couple weeks:

2 weeks of 2468  ( I am on the fourth day successfully so far)
then 4-5 days fasting ( maybe liquid, not sure yet)
Then restrict 450 cal for the first 3 days after my fast to safely switch from ketosis 

I hope I can stay strong!!

xoxo

 Okay so I went over 600 today but I made sure I burnt off the extra calories. So technically I did have a good day. I have been super busy lately so that helps alot. How is everyone??

 Okay so my liquid fast was a bust since my PARENTS made me eat. ughh. i love em but they drive me crazy!!
Well, tomorrow I am starting my 2468. I will only eat when i am with people since I can't not eat. Good luck to all the girls joining me. I love all their support. It helps so much. I am so happy I found this site. Well, its off to exercise then take a nice cold shower.

Okay so I haven't been on track exactly lately and it is showing. Tomorrow is school, after this terrifying holiday called Thanksgiving. I plan on "buying lunch" at school so when my mother asks if i have eaten, I say, I had a very big lunch at school. Then I will do my homework and go excerise for the rest of the night. ANYTHING to get my mind of filthy, disgusting, food.